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By Bashorun J.K.
Randle FCA; OFR
At
the risk of telling you what you all already know, permit me to prophesisethat
today is not only a divinely ordained and blessed day (28th April
2017) in Marrakech, Moroccoby the abundant beneficence of the Almighty, it is
also an occasion which is a defining moment that we shall all cherish for the
rest of our lives as we celebrate the wedding of Banke Kuku to her soulmateOlusola
Lawson.
It
is a marriage made in heaven and our prayer is that it shall be so; and that
the two hearts shall become one soul as they navigate the sometimes choppy
water and occasional sandstorms of marriage; and savour the serenity and joy
for which we are here to solicit the intervention, guidance and protection of the
Almighty on their behalf.
Before
we proceed much further, I have the witness statements from an eminent lawyer
Rita(who was recently nominated as a candidate for the Court of Appeal) the
mother of the bride who is here with her spouse Major-General Chris Garba (Retired).
There
is no need to cross-examine OlorogunDr. Sunny Kuku and his wife Susan as Dr.
Kuku has already testified that it was of his own free will that he gave his consent
to the marriage.
As
for Mr. and Mrs. Kolapo Lawson, the parents of the groom, the court must
disregard the evidence of King’s College Old Boys who claim that in 1962 when
Kolapo entered King’s College, Lagos and Sunny Kuku was in the Lower Sixth
Form, they entered into a pact – namely if Sunny refrained from imposing any
punishment on Kolapo, Kolapo would in due course ensure that one of his sons
would marry one of Sunny’sdaughters. The Court is not persuaded by hearsay or
circumstantial evidence. We have the proof before us!! This is indeed solid evidence
particularly as the betrothal was preceded by a superlative dinner last night at
Jade MahalResturant and Nightclub.
The
Court has been reliably informed that Olorogun Dr. Kuku threatened not to show
up for the pre-nuptials unless the belly dancers were allowed to perform their
super-charged erotic dancing.
It
is not the business of the Court to speculate on how those men who have been
married for upwards of forty years managed to cope with the temptations on
display and come to terms with the curvaceous plus plentiful flesh, with the
belly as the median, without incurring the wrath of their wives. Those husbands
who claimed that they focused their attention on what was above the belly were
not treated more leniently than those who admitted to yielding to the full
McCoy. They were in a trance while the belly-dancing was in full swing.
The
Court has taken judicial notice that four erring husbands were shown the RED
card by their wives and are already on their way home back to Nigeria and other
places as punishment for looking where they were not supposed to look. Under
Section 419 of the criminal code of Morocco, the offence is known as “reckless
lookery”.
Incidentally,
among the records of the Court is evidence that when Olusola first set eyes on
Banke at the wedding of Mr. & Mrs. OlaoluAkerele in London, the first
offence he committed was “lookery” followed by a daring plan to “hit and run”.
Banke being the smart lady that she is promptly introduced him to her older
brother Folarin (my godson) who was at the time an officer in the British Army
serving in the elite Grenadier Guards after duty stints in Iraq and
Afghanistan. Folarin did not need to brandish his service weapon to put the
fear of God and severe punishment into Olusola if he were to attempt to mess
with his darling sister. The rest is now history.
Here
is Mark Twain’s verdict on marriage:
“
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman
really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a
century.”
(Notebook, 1894)
Perhaps I should add the paraphrase of his letter to Olivia
Langdon (dated 8 September 1869)in anticipation of marriage
“….will
be the mightiest day in the history of our lives, the holiest, & the most
generous toward us both - for it makes of two fractional lives a whole; it
gives to two purposeless lives a work, & doubles the strength of each
whereby to perform it; it gives to two questioning natures a reason for living,
& something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new
fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, a new mystery to life; it
will give a new revelation to love, a new depth to sorrow, a new impulse to
worship. On that day the scales will fall from our eyes &we shall look upon
a new world.”
He added for good measure in a letter to Clara
Spaulding(dated 20 August 1886):
“There
isn't time - so brief is life - for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings,
callings to account. There is only time for loving and but an instant, so to
speak, for that.”
The late Chief AdeyemiOlusola Lawson, the grandfather
of the groom, deliberately named him “Olusola” which is both a supplication to
the Almighty as well as an acknowledgement of his faithfulness and abundant
blessings.
On this joyous occasion, both Chief Lawson and his
darling wife Chief (Mrs.) Ibidun Lawson who is my favourite mother-in-law, have
sent the newly wedded couple the following message of goodwill as Mama is
unable to join us in this celebration. It is a very long message straight from
the heart but I have taken the liberty to paraphrase it as follows:
“Marriage
is about love and trust. It is nourished by prayers and faith as well as spiritual connection as soulmates.
The key to a happy marriage is to woo your mother-in-law to your side. It goes
for both the groom (Olusola) and the bride (Banke). As for Banke, don’t ever
stop laughing at your husband’s jokes, even if you have heard them over and
over again – perhaps a hundred times!!” As for the groom, your wife belongs to
every room, not just the other room. Let her have a special room in your heart.”
Let me conclude matters on behalf of my wife Folasade
and I by disclosing that by the special grace of God, Banke is our daughter and
Olusola is also our son. It was the Almighty himself who conceived, supervised
and delivered the matchmaking. No court can challenge the will of God. All that
is left for us is to give our sincere thanks and rejoice.
However, there is a pending matter on which the Court
must adjudicate. Last night, after the fantastic party I commenced the writing
of this speech. I was surprised to discover this morning that all references to
my wife as the “sometimes wonderful wife” have been replaced with ALWAYS
WONDERFUL WIFE in bold capitals and underlined too.
Regardless of the fact that there is only one other
occupant of my hotel room, I refuse to point fingers. Perhaps it was the
handiwork of the Holy Ghost.
As the Chairman of this glorious wedding I have been inundated
by goodwill messages which I have been asked to read. At the top of the pile
are congratulations and good wishes from His Excellency President Muhammadu
Buhari; His MajestyMohammed VI, the King of Morocco; His Excellency
AkinwunmiAmbode FCA, Governor of Lagos State; and His Royal Highness Oba
SikiruAdetona, Ogbagba II, the Awujale of Ijebuland. You must forgive me for
singling out the message from the Holy Father, Pope Francis who in his
characteristic manner broke protocol by sending the following special homily
and benediction:
“Dear Banke and Olusola,
Marriage is about praying together for God’s guidance and
you must remain each other’s best friend.
There is no perfect family. We do not have perfect parents, we are not
perfect, we do not marry a perfect person or have perfect children. We have
complaints from each other. We disappoint each other. So there is no healthy
marriage or healthy family without the exercise of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is vital to our emotional health and
spiritual survival. Without forgiveness the family becomes an arena of conflict
and a stronghold of hurt.Without forgiveness, the family becomes ill.
Forgiveness is the asepsis of the soul, the cleansing
of the mind and the liberation of the heart.
Whoever does not forgive does not have peace in the
soul nor communion with God. Hurt is poison that intoxicates and kills. Keeping
heartache in the heart is a self-destructive gesture. It’s autophagy.
Those who do not forgive are physically, emotionally
and spiritually ill. That is why the family must be a place of life, not death;
Territory of cure and not of illness; Stage of forgiveness and not guilt.
Forgiveness brings joy where sorrow has produced
sadness; Healing, where sorrow has caused disease.”
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