Give
it to inimitable MKO Abiola. Proverbs, by his transliteration of a
Yoruba wit, provide the lubricant with which words are calibrated to
achieve highest possible meaning. Wit is the horse on which words ride
and vice versa.
In one of his expansive moments, MKO would joke that one of his unfulfilled childhood dreams was to be a doctor. Why? Rolling his eyes, he imagined the pleasure a male doctor daily derives from placing a stethoscope on the bosom of the opposite sex and commanding her to "breathe in, breathe out."
In one of his expansive moments, MKO would joke that one of his unfulfilled childhood dreams was to be a doctor. Why? Rolling his eyes, he imagined the pleasure a male doctor daily derives from placing a stethoscope on the bosom of the opposite sex and commanding her to "breathe in, breathe out."
Now,
with the latest bulletin from President Muhammadu Buhari's sick bay in
London, there is no prize for guessing the revision MKO would have made
to his earlier thesis about the doctor's awesome powers.
While
receiving his media team in London at the weekend, the president was
quoted as saying he believes he is now okay but will continue to stay
back in deference to his doctor's advice.
With
that, some might be tempted to assume that sovereignty has now
technically slipped from the Nigerian electorate to some physician in
another country which, incidentally, once colonized their nation.
Well,
among Nigerians, opinions will certainly be divided on compliance when a
doctor imposes the sort of curfew or restriction PMB alluded to. Of
course, it all depends on who or the interest involved. In 1995, for
instance, no doctor could confine Nduka Obaigbena's passion to oversee
THISDAY newspaper at its teething stage.
Fearing
the worst one morning after another grueling night supervising
production, worried family members had to drag the Duke to the hospital
following signs of extreme physical exhaustion. He was sedated and put
on drip. Our shock could then be imagined when, few hours later, a
determined Obaigbena reappeared at the Ribadu Road, Ikoyi office,
looking groggy, but surprisingly clad in Agbada, seeking to find out how
the production for the next day's edition was turning out. The Agbada
was to hide the drip on his left arm.
That underlines perhaps the extreme level of commitment.
But
jokes apart, coming on the heels of visits by APC hierarchs and
selected governors, the latest pilgrimage to London led by Information
Minister Lai Mohammed is what it is - a last-ditch attempt to convince a
cynical Nigerian public and disprove this needling nag by political
opponents that the show of recovery was only being stage-managed before a
carefully selected audience at the Abuja House in London after the
president's odyssey entered the 95th day. Worse, in a week that a group
led by Charly Boy barricaded Abuja with a forceful message to the
president, "Return or Resign".
Of
course, having cumulatively spent abroad five out of seven months of
the year thus far, the Nigerian president has now more or less become
the butt of jokes in the international media.
The
rising tide of snide remarks, it would seem, is no longer lost on PMB
himself going by a Freudian Slip he made while exchanging banters with
Abike Dabiri-Erewa, his Special Assistant on Foreign Affairs. To her
joke, "Welcome to my constituency", the president testily replied in a
one-minute video trending in the social media "I'm, but reluctantly".
That, in view, is very loaded indeed.
Indeed,
truth can be a pest. To some of those being haunted, the best way to
survive is to seek to avoid it. Hence, the assortment of ingenious
improvisations aimed at managing the truth. It is precisely in this dim
light that the latest in the series of shuttles to London by Buhari
people should be viewed.
But
rather than repair the self-inflicted PR damage, the airing of the
Saturday visit only appears to have complicated things. Matters were
certainly not helped by the poor handling of protesters at home last
week. Whereas the sparse "Return or Resign" crowd were mercilessly
hounded and tear-gassed on Abuja street, those for Buhari - clearly
bigger - were courteously treated and chaperoned by policemen on
horseback and warmly received at Aso Rock by presidency officials who
read prepared statement. (A report by Punch newspaper quoted some of the
latter group confessing they were promised N2k after the "performance".)
Odion |
As
earlier argued in this column, access to the principal is key for any
media officer assigned the delicate duty of managing public
communication/perception. A miniature of the media unit ought to be part
of PMB's entourage everywhere, moreso given the dire circumstance he
has found himself in the last eight months requiring a clear-headed
strategy to manage national curiosity. It is certainly most unhelpful
if your image-makers have to rely on intermediaries to speak on your
behalf. Naturally taciturn and and reclusive by habit, Buhari is
obviously a PR man's ultimate nightmare.
Ideally,
the visitation of his media team should not become a subject of
international celebration we have been treated to in the past few days.
If anything, it inadvertently confirms the deficit in the communication
strategy all along; that a gulf had existed between them.
Most
pathetic is the retailing of a particular photograph in which a smiling
PMB marches towards the camera in the garden, two steps ahead of aides
clapping like physiotherapists. The other picture that comes to mind is
of a mother ecstatic at her toddler just taking first steps.
Two,
the story would have been better told by members of the State House
Press corps were they the ones put on the jet to London. A professional
analysis of the story in the media on Sunday clearly showed that the account was written and fed to the journalists in Abuja.
The
stunt of Buhari marching "energetically" in the garden in the London
summer afternoon would be more believable had it been captured from
different angles by independent photo-journalists accredited by Aso
Rock.
More
disturbing is the sort of issues this official narrative seemed
obsessed with. While it is pleasing to hear that PMB truly has the
presence of mind to remember how his decisive role helped ease wayward
Yahyah Jammeh out of the presidential fortress in Banjul in January,
more Nigerians would definitely have wished to hear his thoughts on what
constitutes perhaps greater and present threat to Nigeria's interest in
the sub-region - attempt by North African nation of Morocco to railroad
itself into ECOWAS.
At a time the intruder is digging furiously the earth under our feet in the west coast mum has been the word from Abuja.
Again, we already know Buhari's harsh words
for those pushing for secession from the South-east and his sharp
tongue against the troublemakers threatening to blow the oil pipelines
in the Niger Delta. But the latest official narrative syndicated in
Abuja did not let us into Buhari's mind on the flurry of hate songs
being composed and churned out in his name by Arewa youths against other
sections of the country.
For
Buhari today, the spirit may be willing, but the body is certainly
weak. Forget the forced gap-toothed smiles, this must be the most
depressing moment for the General from Daura. Sadly, the nagging stories
around presidential infirmity won't go away and the official
mishandling of the narrative now appears to overshadow the gains from
the relentless war against corruption and substantial containment of
Boko Haram.
While it is true that the
nation could have done better with the articulation of a clearer vision
for the economy in 2015 and bringing to bear a sense of urgency, what
is however undeniable is that things could have gone much worse had the
nation not had someone as frugal and disciplined as Buhari at a time of
recession widespread across the globe occasioned by a steep crash of
commodity prices.
One
good thing about seclusion is the opportunity for introspection. So,
the extended medical vacation must have afforded PMB a chance for some
deep reflection these past few months perhaps on the rivers he had
crossed and the mountains still ahead.
As
he continues to bask in the solitude of the London hermit, in case it
had not yet happened, let the old general however be forewarned that
there is no way he could possibly escape being haunted at some point by
the ghost of Umar Yar'Adua over a comment he once made.
When
Yar'Adua increasingly found himself entrapped on the sick bed by the
twilight of 2009, PMB was among the most vocal then, urging him not only
to come clean on his exact medical condition but also respect himself
by honourably bowing out of office.
His
exact words in 2010: "It's unpatriotic for a government leader to
travel abroad for so long in the name of medical vacation. If a leader
can no longer function due to ill-health, he should be called upon to
resign. I don't think I have said anything wrong to have advised the
President to resign. He should disclose his health status to Nigerians
and resign if he can no longer cope. That's the proper thing to do."
By
nudging his younger kinsman from Katsina to follow the worthy example
set two years earlier by Fidel Castro, Buhari then appeared to seize the
moral high ground. Indeed, as he increasingly got weakened by
age-related infirmities, the then charismatic Cuban leader could have
hung on to power, pleading no law forbade him from taking ill while in
office. But he refused the temptations. In relinquishing power in 2008,
these were his unforgettable words to his fellow countrymen:
"My
wishes have always been to discharge my duties to my last breath. But
it would be a betrayal to my conscience to accept a responsibility
requiring more mobility and dedication than I am physically able to
offer."
Obviously,
there is no way PMB could, in a good conscience, be said to have live
up to the same high standard he judged Yar'Adua - failure to disclose
what exactly ails him and foreign residency.
No less compelling is the memory of PMB's thunderous disavowal as recently as
last year of "medical tourism" by government officials. Speaking in
Abuja that day, he declared that Federal Government under his watch
would no longer approve financial support of any kind for all categories
of public servants seeking medical treatment abroad. (By 2013, around
$1bn was estimated to have been spent by Nigerians on medical treatment
abroad.)
Now, the big puzzle is whether PMB is excluded from the tribe of public servants so referenced.
Managing the truth is never an easy task.
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